I think I have an Expelliarmus. In my pants.

So I've thinking about the latest Harry Potter movie lately, and I'd honestly have to say that it's been my least favorite one out of the entire series. I'll not get into the many gripes I have about it, because, face it, it's a fucking Harry Potter movie. Getting worked up about Harry Potty movies is a hop, skip, and a spastic twitch from getting into arguments about whether or not the frackin' Lord of the Ring movies were an exercise in traditional Christian religious imagery. (And yes, it's happened. And yes, I overheard this at a party. And yes, those guys did not go home with anyone that night.)

To be fair, I shouldn't hate on anyone getting geeked out over something so esoteric, because Buddha knows I've geeked out over some silly things as well. But I digress.

The one thing I thought suitable to bring up in this medium was the casting decision regarding Cho Chang. For those of you not in the know, Cho Chang is supposed to be this ridiculously hot Chinese girl that Harry develops a crush on in the book-movie. So this, of course, is a particular point of interest for your average Asian dude and all Jewish guys with yellow fever out there. Yes, there is a bit of the Young-Britney-Spears-creepiness factor involved - after all, we're talking about 15, 16 year old kids here (call SVU!), but there was always the strong possibility that they'd go all Dawson's Creek on us and cast 20-year olds into the role, which would neatly disarm that particular moral landmine.

So this is the girl they decided would best exemplify the hotness that is Cho Chang (Note that this hotness is something that Rawlings emphasizes in the book, so it's not like I'm creating my own fantastical delusions here):



















Granted, Katie Leung is cute, the kind of cute that I wouldn't mind asking out for a cup of coffee were she five years older than her eighteen years of grace. (That sound you just heard was the sound of a million uncomfortable men breathing a deep sigh of relief.) And granted, her Scottish accent is quite exotic. But I wanted some eye candy with some middling acting ability, not someone who was actually fitting for the role talent-wise! Come on, Newell, just do what you're supposed to do and pander down to the lowest common denominator in the American demographic.

May I humbly suggest an alternative? :






















My name is Harry Potter, and I approve of this message.