For those of you who missed it....

I'm reposting this from my Friendster blog, because I believe that every negative post should be followed with a humorous one. Anyways, here goes:


Call me paranoid, but there isn't a day that goes by without someone making Wilson the butt of a good joke.

So here we were, our butts planted on the bench next to the 16th tee, waiting for the group in front of us to finish playing the hole. The afternoon was winding down, and our group of four had developed a sort of companionable silence during these particular lulls in play.

Our group was comprised of me, Tom, Hubert, and a middle-aged Korean fellow who's name I can never remember, but simply referred to as "that Korean dad". We all felt bad for the guy, since it was plainly obvious from the start that he was far more proficient at golf than any of us, and it must have been trying his patience waiting for us to bumble our way down each and every hole. To his credit, he tried to give us some tips in broken English, if only to speed the game up.

In any case, it during this particular lull that he decided to give me a personal lesson in golf swings. He had stood up and was motioning towards me with his 3 wood.

"You, you look at my swing." The Korean Dad assumed his stance at address and took a few cuts at the grass. "Look, look."

I stood up and walked to within a few paces of his position. He motioned at me with his club again.

"You look. When bring club up to hip, then you cock wrists up." He proceeded to demonstrate the proper cocking action of the wrists during the backswing. "You cock here, then bring up while turning shoulder. No moving hip or knees! Then when you swing, no moving head forward." The 3-wood came down in a slow "whoosh".

I nodded a few times in agreement.

He continued on. "Now I show you your swing, okay? You look."

He brought the club up to waist-height, but instead of cocking his wrists, he kept his left arm straight as he took the clubhead vertical. "Look, you no cock wrists. Must cock, okay? Too high!"

Someone snickered to my left. I glanced over to see Tom with his arms crossed, his trademark grin plastered across his face. He snickered again.
"That's right, Will. You no cock." This time, he didn't bother to hold back his chuckle. I threw a golf ball at him in disgust. To my surprise, however, the Korean Dad began nodding his head.

"Yes, you no cock."

Oh great. The double entendre had completely flown over his head.

He started his imitation backswing again. "You no cock here, bring club too high, no cock, no good!" I groaned inwardly - would he stop saying that damned phrase? "Must cock wrists here, no cock is bad." No, really? Tom was having a field day with this - he had strolled over to my right, and was now doubled over in repressed laughter.

There was no way out of this except to integrate his advice and quickly move on before it got any worse. I pressed lips together and took a few experimental swings. At this point, my brother had caught on to the pun and began heckling as well. The Korean Dad remained blissfully unaware of the juvenile humor and continued to make his case in breaking the Guinness World record of "Most Perverted Puns in the Space of Five Minutes."

"Yes, yes, good! Now...there, cock! You have good swing! Good! You swing is good when have cocking action!" Oh Dear Lord. "Good, good swing."

This was getting ridiculous.

Luckily, the group ahead of us had moved on and Korean Dad, after nodding in approval a few times, turned around to warm up for his initial drive. Christ. It was about friggin' time. I leaned on my 5-iron and shot a glare over at Tom, who was still engaged in that ridiculous goofy chuckle of his.

"Hey Wil, you no cock? No cock?"

I sighed. It was going to be a long time before I lived this one down.


Yes, yes, laugh it off. The other reason why I reposted this is because I was in the pharmacy the other day, and a particular product reminded me of this story.

Maybe I could have used one of these last time:

http://supportsusa.com/arm/wrist/long-cockup.htm


.....I'll take an Extra-Large, please.